sorrow... 12-12-2008

Typing something here has never been easy… as it’s either something joyful happened or the opposite … well for this entry… needs not say more… from the way I started already can catch some lead…

Sometimes really wondering what am I doing… to achieve goals in life… by giving this and that believing others will do the same for me… but in the end… it just don’t turn out that way. Trust and belief… totally down the drain… numerous promises… are just words to cover up for lies… pathetic this might sound… but truly what I am going through… Really feel like giving up sometimes… but feeling holding me back… believing everything will be better and turn out fine.

Why can’t life be simple… or just let me be stupid… and not realizing the world still rotating and life is full of huge contrast… I am not a very demanding person I will say… just over protective over stuff I believe in… wrong??? Maybe I should learn to let go then…
There’s always a limit in me… just like boiling kettle filled with hot boiling water trying to rush out and grab some air…

I know life is full of obstacles for us to overcome it… but once awhile I believe I do deserve a break from reality right. Human nature can never change like what many experts said... You and suppress your feeling but you can never change it... just like your normal being… I agree. But I will tell myself… at least I try to suppress the darkness within me… but what have you done for me or the others??

Laughing at myself once again… years after years… this has been repeatedly happening over and over again… and I really a fool not to see it… or am I just foolish enough to believe a leopard can change its spots…

Confusion… disappointment… don’t think I will ever understand this theory… aren’t there things worth one to change. Or human are creature that will just behave and go ahead to do things as they like… scary will be the word I use to describe this behaving… but what to do…?? There’s nothing I can do… I did what I can and I tell myself I owe no one nothing.

Just have to carry on.. maybe 1 fine day I will find enough courage to dump this pathetic life I having behind

Money not enough 07-12-2008

sunday night.. and i am actually at work.. so sad... waiting for time to pass actually cos meeting friends later..

Recently really understands the meaning of $. the impotant of $. Bills, Loans.. petrol.. unforeseek situation... all need money. going to be broke lo especially now recession taking place.. and dad asked me to treat all the relative makan... -.- x2.

Quite envy of dad's earning... when can i be like him... i hope i wish and i want.

Good News too.. Jun has been very nice and sweet. Just can't stop loving him although her attitude need to change abit little bit more... same goes for me.

Good news no. 2. some how things getting alittle better for me toward her family... hope is not just my own one sided thinking... will jia you regarding this.

Good news no.3 mum buying a excerise machine for me and sis... SAVE $$ ^_^

good news no.4 I am just so gald mum dad grandma sis jun are always around... love all of them so much and always...

Last but not least... money not enough..so most properly need to go neighbourhood country to "SHOP".. lolx.. kk.. lame... but maybe driving in to malaysia to expolre later... getting excited.. key word.. malaysia... not johor.. EXCITMENT!!!!!!!