It's 2014

What can I say? I guess it is all about growing up. Looking back when I was enjoying the freedom as a student... dating... and now a family man. Wow~ time really flies.

This blog is almost 10yrs old now since I started it back in 2004... I have to be frank... I started writing ever since after I got back into contact with Jun and some others... Back then, I was just a normal Chinese guy whom seldom communicates using English, unsure of the future yet putting up a brave front always. I had a crush on Jun, managed to be together, we got married and now with a little boy of our own. Amazing isn't it

The future will still be unclear till you explore it. I am glad I made it this far and sort of doing better now. I consider it as a blessing.

Life isn't just about joy. I lost my beloved grandma in May 2013, 2 days before the arrival of my little boy. Nothing could express the pain and confusion I was in back then.. My grandma was a really wonderful person and played an important part to my growing up. Even till now, I still miss her... misses her voice.. her nagging.. her expressions.. her love..

But like the saying says.. " Everything ends one day, it is what being accomplish to ensure life is not a wasted journey" I am glad that I managed to spend more time with grandma during the last couple of years in her life. Believe she is in a better place now with grandpa.

Moving on.. new job.. new role as a dad. Wonderful experience.. a child brings the family together.. this is so true. More family time.. my dad is like a 24xiao grandpa... my mum is taking really good care of our little 1 while Jun and I working, not to forget my sis and brother-in-law. Enjoy spending time with him and seeing him growing up each day though i keep thinking that he is growing up too fast.

Will find more time to update this blog. Let's hope it is not another 3-4years


Will find more time to update this blog. Let's hope it is not another 3-4years

 

It's really has been a long time

It's really donkey ages since i post anything.. too busy with living?? neh.. a lot happened in 2010. Going to do the updating tonight. Damn.. my last post was actually in 2009 Oct. hahaha.

Repeatly Damanged

A lot of up and down recently. Sorting out what i really want in life. A normal working lifestyle or so. Set back again for some issue. Am i really too soft hearted. i give everything i had and in return always empty handed... i try to forgive and to forget... but come on... it's easier to say than to be done...

I am worry... worry by the crazy and brainless act... confuse about the person i love and know... changes in life... move on? improve? sucessful? Does these matters if there isn't anyone that understands... supporting me and my choices...

I have never once regret the choices i make in life... though there were alot of foolish one too... Was really hurt today...

No words can describ my feeling... it's not anger that filled me but instead... disappointment... shocked.. by the very one that i always believe... if everyone in thid reality world change... this person will be the last as the person has a heart of pure-ness...

Am I wrong to think so... have I forgotten past lesson learnt? I hate to face the facts and choose to believe lies over lies again...

My pride... my happiness... just by 1 foolish act... it's down the drain... why 1 won't cherish what they have... why is it so hard to stick with the person and supporting them through the hard time...

All i want is trust... as simple as that... so i can have an ease of mind to focus on my goals...my future... my happiness....

only god knows what's going on....

seriously.. i really hate coming online to blog anymore... cos i do not have the free time to do so... and when i did so.... it's always a dismoralising entry... This is not what i am looking at when i started this blog... nor did i want to upset myself further everytime i typing here...

Betray is a harsh word...i trying to pick myself up again...believing in man kind...

18-23rd June 2009 Man's thought

Woo… what a weekend for me… boring… lonely… then fun… seriously… never know I will missing jun so much when she is away… always thought I will have tons of fun and freedom… guess I was wrong…

Thursday 18th June 2009
Any… jun and family went Thailand for a shopping sprees from thurs morning… woke up at 5am in the morning , quickly changed my office wear and headed over her house as I volunteered to send them to the airport. Managed to reach at 5.35am and greeted her mum before loading their stuff in the boot. Throughout the journey the feeling was a little awkward due to the relationship between her mum and me. But was really glad she agreed on getting a ride from me as she will definitely decline the offer last time. Jun tried her best to lighten up the awkwardness by talking non stop to everyone (sweet... I can tell). Anyway after dropping them at the airport… drove back into ecp. For a moment I actually had the urge of stopping by beach side to enjoy the morning b4 going to work… but changed my mind and decided to go clementi to pack breakfast for grandma as it was just 6+am in the morning. Brought 2 packet of vegetarian bee hoon for uncle and grandma… reached her house, opened the door and realized she was still sleeping… so just left it on the table and went to work…( my grandma usually wake up around 5+am). Reached workplace at 7.05am... VERY EARLY LOR!!!!!!!!!! So slowly flip open the newpaper I brought and enjoying my breakfast at the same time… works still ok nothing much… only some updates from jun after her flight landed… Only happening thing was that Desmond really strike the Sweden match exact score 5-1 and won $1200 using $15. Lucky guy, but hope he will save up more as his wife expecting again.

Went to grandma’s house after work… told her about the breakfast as I forgotten to do so in the morning… can tell she was quite glad and was still saying she was wondering who brought it since my dad was in bukom and my other uncle currently at oversea. Hahaha... went school after that…. Then meet up with pb,mj,wz at mj’s house playing games before going home…. Talked to Jun on the phone for a little while before going to bed… missing her badly already…

Friday 19th June 2009

Work work and still work… after work went home to fetch mum and dad… having pre-father day dinner at peris at marina square… dad was hold back at work… mum kept calling him asking him what time he will be back until he was damn fed up. When reached scolded us for making him rush -.-… ( I wasn’t part of it) msg-ed sis to warn her about it and told her we will be late as we left the house at 6.40pm . reached the place at 7.20pm. luckily dad’s mood was better and starts smiling talking like his usual self… ^_^ the food not bad la actually.. unlike what pb they all told me… maybe less choices that’s all… but quite expensive… 5 of us (including yx) $240 something. But everyone enjoyed the dinner I guess… had a great time grabbing my favorite clamp and raw fish.. hahaha… after dinner… dad suggested that we go drink since that time he was left out due to work when we went with mum.
So we went to orchard wisma ‘s live band bar ( can’t remember the name). place was quite nice and we had a good time drinking… mid way there was a ah-gua standing outside flirting with the band all the way… rocks… and hilarious… I went off 1st as I meeting mj and pb… told they all I never knew it was going to be so lonely and missed june so much when she is not around… they laughed… then we played some games at mj house before heading down to safra jurong west as ww, louis and their dates were there playing Left 4 Dead… the 3 of us then joined in too but play a separate campaign ourselves. I tried jackpot too and won $20… in less than 5min hor… just when I was boasting to them… the another uncle struck jackpot + 5 feature games… and ended up he won more than $2500… -.-….. x2 some people just have the luck I guess… anyway continue playing game with mj before sending ww home as he was not riding. Still missing my June, even more…

Saturday 20th June 2009

Woke up…. Change… work… head breakfast meeting… got nagged by boss… continue with life and work… knocked off at 12.30pm in stead of 12noon as was answering customer his enquiries…went home… eat… talk to mum… eat…. Slept as I was very tired…. Woke up around 8pm… called ww and kw for dinner…. Brought them to the bukit timah Indian restaurant and ate nasi brayni . nice but exp… 3 of use ate 28dollers.. some more kw only at prata…lolx… called up mj said we will be going over…. Told wm also… headed down to find mj and nanli and they helped me in washing my car and polish it … quick 1 of course… but ok la… as long it shine… b’cos need to go fetch june, her mum and sis from airport.. so better make it clean… played some games at mj house before heading to airport at 12..20am as their flight supposed to reach 12.30am was delayed by a little… reached airport at around 12.50am… as there were still time ( they coming out around 1.15am) so when to jolly beans and brought some drinks and snack for them as I was thinking most probably they should be hungry. Saw them coming out at 1.15am… so glad to see my princess again…. talked non stop with her on the drive to her house…kept my tone down to sound more mature… LOLX… but ok la… her mum now really nicer… at least that’s how I feel and I hope I wasn’t wrong… o.O

Went back to mj’s house and continue playing games after I dropped their luggage. Played proto type ( a mission fighting game) . 1st time try but cool…!!! Went supper with the gays at 651 before heading back home around 4+am… sentosa next day. So glad June is back.. love everything about her *blush*

Sunday 21st June 2009

SENTOSA DAY!!!! Woke up at 10am sharp though I slept at 5am. Morning call all ass hole wingwah,mj,ww,kw,wm…replied to dad’s sms … he wished me happy father day…. Told him where got father wishes son 1… told him I am really proud to have him and he;’s always there for us… seriously… he is the greatest father in the world. After texting bath, change and met wingwah at my carpark… pick kw up then ww up before heading over to wm’s place the market to have brunch… bought a Frisbee near the market to play later on… mj soon joined us we left for sentosa after he too ate his brunch….

Reached sentosa around 12+pm… walked all the way from the carpark till near the starting point of the beach as the middle portion was close for renovation… saw min min at sentosa with her boyfriend and friends… still so cute and mini… hahaha… found a spot and unpack everything on the mat I always keep in my car….( what can they do without me… lolx.). stubborn wm… told him get 2 big bottles of mineral water…. He insisted on just 2 super big gup from 7-11… told him not enough 1 ask him buy 4… but when he came out… (#-.-) really just the 2 cup.. by the time we reach the beach area… 1 cup almost gone…. 6 guys left with a cup of drink… and of course eventually we ran out of water thanks to the smart alex… so no choice we came out with a competition of beach soccer… loser team will go get beers and drinks… bought a volley ball and used it to play soccer… me ww mj (rookie) a team… kw wm wingwah a team… thought we will lose for sure, kw even demand what he want to drink 1st… end result… WE WON 3-2.. I even dive into the sand to save the ball while ww and mj super performing over their potential… why?!?!? COS THE JOURNEY TO WALK BACK TO THE DRINK PLACE WILL TAKE 10MIN!!!!! plus WALKING BACK!!! 20MIN!!! LOLX… anyway they came back with the drinks and we continue to play and swim and sun tan… it was more fun than we thought it will be… and guess what… 6 guys… we actually built a sand castle… the other group os mixture of gals and guys tried to follow us do the same things and fail… smashed their own sand object and even buried their friend inside… lolx… we really spent quite some effort to built.. trim… enhance the firm-ness . wm slept on the beach while we building and still wanted to join in for photo… kw keep patting on the sand and made the wall collapses a few time… but really great effort by all (beside wm). Asked a lady took photo for us whom after that use her own SLR camera to take a photo of it also while we played soccer…

Washed up around 7+pm… went to ulu pandan road for zi cha… nice but a bit expensive as it was father’s day . Very full… after dinner sent them home before I too went home and wash up before going down to Jun’s place to meet her as it was our monthly anniversary too… reall burnt.. sun burnt… went mac café with Jun and talked quite a lot… updated each other on the past few days before sending her home around 1am. Thanks to her.. now my family has some red wine and snacks from thai… Love my gal so much~

Monday 22nd June 2009

Usual work day …. Aching all over.. or rather.. burning all over… fetch June after work to home for dinner… talk a lot.. crapping a lot also… love this kind of moments where we just behave like kids again… Sent her home after Shun Zi Xin… Serious… that Alvin guy really can’t act… met wz wing wah and ww at my house coffee shop… ate mee… the table behind us of uncles talked to us… nonsense… so I answer back nonsense to shut them up.. Thumbs up for myself… bought some drink from 7-11 and went over to my void deck there to talk… discussed some really serious stuff and really think it can work out… as usual… effort!!!!!!! Commitment!!!!! Action!!!!!!!! Is what we need to get it to start. Hope it can succeed this time. Talk to Jun for awhile… Can’t stand her for being annoying when I meeting my friends.. especially when we are discussing serious stuff… but… some how can’t really be angry with her once her sweet voice penetrate my ears… I found my match… totally… my sassy girl… that’s the way I like her to be… =)

Tuesday 23rd June 2009

A little slacking at work today…so typing this entries now… took me quite a while hor… in fact I started around 10+am.. stop at 12noon for lunch and continued at 12.40pm.. now 12.50pm… going to stop here… hopefull y whatever my I dream of will come true… ^_^

May to June 4th ( as many as i can)

Cool! Been 1+ months since I last updated anything here… time flies huh… training finally over… not sure if this is consider good or the bad… work load starting to come in 1 by 1 but still no specific job for me yet… more like helping here and there at the moment… feel more like an office push around boy than an engineer. Luckily people here in my company are all quite friendly and helpful so far... hope this will last. Though bore sometime but still… u can find time and things to entertain yourself… hahaha… example : taking photos =X Thanks once again to Sweet Jun for the Shirts

8th may 2009
Anyway... May was a horrible month for me… I went for the 三跪一拜at bishan with wq and her family and friends… asked wm to join us too. Anyway... the event was really enjoyable except for the long wait but we managed to actually keep self entertaining but cracking some jokes here and there... We queue up since 9+pm… started at 2+am and 4+am finished… Rain started to pour... went for breakfast at Mac and drove home… too tired... never pay attention to the road situation… just before reaching my car park… this lorry stopped to pick pple out in front of the bust stop and before the zebra crossing and yellow line… as it was raining and plus I was tired… didn’t realized it till I was too late to avoid it… managed to avoid the full impact but still my left side was kana… hai~ The bangala at 1st still wanted to call his boss.. but decided not to when a passer by motorist stopped to scold him for stopping there and caused an accident… decided to let the things goes and I went home with my wrecked car… can’t really bother as what happens has happened. So after covering the car with car cover, went home and sleep… it was only until Tues then managed to send the car to a workshop near my work place to repair… $2500!!! Hai~ but ok la compare to another workshop that quoted me $4000+- $5000. Thanks to wm. Anyway, WW super steady la… loan me his bike to work on Monday and went to workshop in the car after work… scarily but funny. And we still can take cab go Bugis meet up with wm to walk and eventually MJ and WZ also joined us… as if it’s some weekend outing, lolx…

21st May 2009
John finally came back from US after a long 4years … was so glad to receive his sms.. met him up on the night with PJ. Had a great chat and updated each others about stuffs… HE actually came back 1 week ago but decided to inform us about his return after he settled his stuffs… anyway, just when we thought can get to see him more often, and he announced that he will be heading back to US for voluntary work and then 1 year of research plus 5 years of studies master and PHD… the 2 of us was like wow… but ok la.. as long he is happy with it… it’s good to be able to do something you like.


22nd May 2009
Attended a relative’s daughter‘s wedding. Played with her when we were kids but never contact at all when we grew older… she still looks the same I must say… congratulation to her and her husband… Saw Yu Wei there too… she was actually the MC that night… and amazingly she recognized me. Sweet Jun wasn’t very happy about me talking about Yu wei but ok la… there was an even bigger issue before the wedding lo.

I asked grandma a few days back whether anyone fetching her down to the wedding if not I will be going to fetch her… she told me no need as there will be people sending her… I said ok but I will still drop by as I need to fetch Sweet Jun from work also. So this is what happened… On the day itself, when I was about to knock off... Sis called me and said YX was hold back at work and ask if I can go home and fetch mum and dad… And of course I agreed and went home fetch mum and dad then went back to west coast to get Jun from her school before heading down to the ball room… everything was fine… relatives arrived so and so… until my 1st uncle reached around 7.50pm and said “ ah! You never go and fetch grandma ah? She said you will be going down to fetch her so I never send her over.”

Once I heard this. w/o 2nd words straight away double up my step toward the door to the car park and rushed down to grandma’s house. On the way over keep calling grandma’s house but she did not answer… felt even more panic and speeded all the way.. Reached grandma place at 8.10pm and opened the door myself as I had the keys… grandma was in her room preparing… apologies to her for my mistake and was glad that she wasn’t angry a single bit at all. She said she just woke up from her nap but I knew she lied as she already fully dressed up… she just don’t want me to feel bad I guess. So sent grandma house and we reached back to shenton way before 8.30pm., just in time for the 1st course. The bride’s father came out to welcome her and leaded grandma to the VIP table. Phew~ I was being praised for my instinct reaction but deep inside I feel damn guilty… luckily everything when well for the night. Will bear in mind when you promised old people something.. no matter she want or don’t want… keep your promise….

27th May 2009

Went for RT IPPT but ended up never run the 2.4km as my back was aching plus I am running late to meet Jun , John and JY. So output myself and drove to Jun’s school to pick her up.., followed by picking John and JY from clementi and headed down toAMK for crab bee hoon. Nice Meal. Fun. Jun was Spoilt and I was a little mean. But all were make up when we went chewy chocolate café. To chill. Talked a lot.. had some nice chocolate drinks plus spicy one too… ended the night looking forward to more gathering. Can tell Jun really enjoying it. Just like before… just the 4 of us.

30th May 2009

Meet up JY, John, and Jun to minds café… picked up Jun from her school as they were having a carnival . Helped to carry a table with the help of a very nice gentleman. We were all late except for John who reach there on time. One of the waiter was damn weird or rude… I can’t really difference… keep asking us are we going to make our order when we just reached… but still .. it was fun… PIW joined us too and I went to get him as he lost his way…. Oh ya… Piw is our pri school friend whom is a Thai and now stationed in Singapore for work. Had quite a lot of fun though Piw 1st didn’t really like the minds café idea… Had dinner at central as Piw said he wanted to be in aircon place.. so well we just go lo… JY went off 1st as he going some dinner… anyway… after dinner we went KTV at Liang Court and wow… now party world interior really quite nice lo… sang from 8pm till 11pm before sending them home.. went up to Piw apartment for a visit . Simple nice and cosy… Will visit again next time. =)

31st May 2009 (Sun) ***

Went for RT. Lazy James never go. Met them at Marina square for lunch before watching terminator salvation. Walk around and saw some shiny flashing stuff which catches my eye. Diamond… went in take a look here and there a decide to get something.. nice and very very nice clay pot rice for dinner....Getting tired from typing… I been typing this since 10.30am…. partly due to the length , the only time I can really type is like now e I am quite free now.


4th June 2009 Ahhh now 1.,30pm le…so fast… but I want faster… lolx… had lunch with Jun just now…. Forgotten to bring my wallet with me… heng it is in my drawer… and ended June sweet sweet treat me eat.. So Sweet…. And John this morning flew back le… wishes him all the best.

Selfless Love?? Craps

I don’t think I am going to ever understand the art of life… was actually blogging another entry about past event but decided to drop it and write this instead.

How ungrateful one can be when you needed her… and all she will do is to tell you she is not free and want to do her own things… those time when everyone in the world neglected her and unwilling to response to her requests… who was the 1 that going through the shit and get to her…

When going to bed requested something nice. But when change over telling her how you yourself feel… they just simply IGNORE it as if you never say it before… what the heck is this!!

When you need help… help will never come… when she need helps… I will always be there no matter if it her family or work...

Why everything when I need from her… she still has to rethink and see if I have done so for her in the past before unwillingly to say yes or worse... no.

Even when gathering with people…when she don’t feel like meeting… I have to be the bad guy and said it was my idea to cancel… or even worse… she will just push the blame to me by telling tales to friends… I don’t mind being the 1 with bad impression… but at least show that what I did is worth it…

I don’t think I am asking a lot… I just want attention too… I am a human too… how cans 1 be so selfish and keep thinking for herself only…

I seriously reaching my limit… I can’t believe she just forever behaving this way especially when I keep considering for her and believing that she will change… damn it man…

Don’t think I will do so anymore… the feeling sucks… I need to love myself more… since my belief in her has been shaken…

Happy 25th Birthday To Me

Wooo!!! Been quite sometime never blog le... not that nothing to blog… but a little busy recently… ok... lazy actually…

Anyway… It’s my birthday today... S.H.E Hebe’s too. Van Gogh the famous artist and Celine Dion’s too. =)

Ok back to the point… Had a wonderful weekend pre celebrating my birthday with my family, Jun and my bros. Let me write a little about it here.

Fri

After work went grandma house to visit grandma. didn’t talk much as uncle was there... went pick up Jun from school and the headed home to pick up mum and dad as meeting sis at Kranji D farm resort there for my birthday dinner… reached there around 7.30pm… The food was not bad... the service was quite bad… and the ambiance was quite nice especially there were some singer singing too. Talk quite a lot especially our childhood day… like this kind of outing with family and Jun. very warmly... after dinner went pasi pang prata place to get a drink with Jun before sending her home while sis and YX send mum and dad home… of course.. my red packets already collected on Monday as tue was my lunar birthday. Hehehe…

Sat

After work, picked up Jun from her house and visit Grandma for a short while. And god! Jun was especially gorgeous that day wearing a very pretty dress. Anyway... after visited grandma. Headed down to Bukit Permei for lunch… the Lor Mee stall never open… so ended up ate wan ton mee from another stall. Not too bad also… headed down to Changi Village Hotel after lunch as there was a promotion for the room. Slacked in the room till around 5pm before we drove to down town east for dinner at new York x2 and order the
Meat lover. Too big for us to finish lo.. but nice… went for a stroll around the area and JUN grabbed quite a lot of bargain gifts for her school kids… indeed a very sweet teacher hor. Went back to the hotel around 9+pm dropped our stuff then went to the flea market around Changi Village to take a look and also see if there anything we can get.. In the ended I got a Chelsea decal sticker for my car for $4. =P
Went back to the hotel watch a movie which we also do not know the name. Quite a not bad movie… except that it was really a sad and tragedy one… it was about a director and his happy family… one night he fetched his elder son from a hockey match.. dropped by a petrol kiosk to pump petrol… the son was in the stall buying a drink when a robbery happened and the son got slashed in the throat by one of the robber…the director managed to struggle with 1 of them and saw the face of 1 of the guy whom later got banged by a vehicle while escaping.. the son died in the hospital and the man was charged… but due to the director was the only eye witness.. they can only sentence him to 3yrs jail term.. ended up… the father decided to take things in his own hand and killed the robber… which happened to be the brother of a mafia gang… so killing continue… very sad ending as everyone die except for the youngest son whom was in coma… and the director aka father died on the sofa watching all the good times he had with both his sons and wife…

Anyway.. after the show watched guess x3 and ate pudding… simple way of celebrating but I just love it with Jun.

Sun

Reached home around 2+pm. Slacked around till 5+pm before go fetch ww & Kw. Fetched wm as well as there was a change in location and wm had an accident again the day before… -.-… anyway… meet the rest of the group at mr bean before we headed down to Rui Chun for my Dim Sum Buffet… Saw sis there with YX family also.. went over to say hi before we continue. Order a lots of food lo… 1 table also not enough…. Have to keep clearing the empty plates… but really enjoy eating with my this group of bros… after so long and we are still together… proud of it… =)… bill came with $140.70.. not expensive considering 10 of us eat and we really ordered a lot.

Went to parklane after that and played lan from 8+pm till 12+ miod night.. omg… but really enjoyed myself… oh ya.. thanks for the bag.

Mon actual Birthday 30th march 2009

Normal day at work until Jun called me and said she bring food over.. really surprise and shocked… was really touch and happily plus lost as she never did this before… sushi, egg, coffee, cakes.. a lot lor… anyway as she had to rush to school.. never talk much… enjoyed my lunch and now typing about it… going back to work soon…. Just love everything she did for me and of course… Love her even more… got to go.. happy birthday to me again

25th Feb 20009 An evening of Sweet and colors

Yea!!!! Got back my baby today after almost 2 weeks struck with that problematic wiper VIOS. Went all the way down to Enous. Not really a good drive as it was raining. Anyway… after getting back my car. went down to Jun’s school to fetch her home… upon reaching West Coast area, saw rainbow across the sky... Beautiful will be the word I use to describe. Not 1 but 2 rainbow some more… It stretches across the sky of the whole west coast. Was really amazed by the beautiful slight that I took photo of it when the car stopped at traffic light. And guess what… the drivers around me all were doing so too… funny slight… lolx. Called Jun and told her about the rainbows and she told me she saw it too. After meeting up with her… we find a spot and took some photo with the rainbows… from the photo can only see 1 as the another 1 fade in color… Think due to my camera… The rainbows definitely looks much nicer and bigger than it’s shown in the photo.

Anyway… after sending Jun home. Meet up with Wm and went for dinner at S11 before we headed down for soccer. We were the earliest 1 lo. And to our horror no one brought the ball… luckily in the end the decisive man came.. . phew~ Had a great time as we won most of the round.

After soccer went to 907 with Wm, Pb & PBB as Sweet Jun told me she’s playing Majong. Crapped around at 907 about a lot of issues including whose going to get marry 1st so and so… Quite looking forward to 2-3 years from now =) * hint * * hint *

Send wm home before I headed for home.. reached home around 12+am going to 1am… bath and called Hyper Active, Spoilt yet cute and adorable Jun. Got a lecture from her for being home so late and without telling her… luckily in the end she spared my ears and updating what each of us did.

Was quite tired after the call. Didn’t manage to watch Chelsea Match but was glad that Chelsea won the 1st leg against Juventus . ^_^ Go Chelsea Go.! ! !

25th Feb 2009 1 more day remaining at Keppel + thoughts that's driving me crazy -.-

Today will be mine 2nd last day working in Keppel. To be frank… the feeling is great except that a little worry of the challenge ahead that I will be facing. Informed Sugu (Senior Project Manager) that tomorrow will be my last day here.. Have to say he is really a nice boss although I only start working for him only 1month... gave me some advices and wishes me all the best. Believe Din and WY will do well under his wing.

Anyway, called the work shop as they are taking a little too long in fixing my car… glad they told me today can get the car le, will be heading down to Enous later. ^_^v Miss my car a lot lo… not only me but my sweet Jun also.

Anyway… having some thoughts again… some negatives thoughts I guess. Share with whoever happens to be reading this…
Ever wonder the meaning of Life??? Why we are here… How we are actually form apart from what science explains… How amazing that all these actually form from dusts… what comes after life? Or rather… what comes after death… Is there really life after death? Or is it just human way of self comforting. People always say “ after death we will go heaven, hell, transform to animals… back to human… souls that wondering around.. God… enlightenment and become Buddha “ Ever doubt these saying? I am a Buddhist. But somehow these question keep appearing to me over the years… What if there isn’t such stuff at all, and we human or anything will just get old, die and that it. .. Like a black hole… Just like a sudden black out… no feeling .. No thoughts… no sight… no nothing… just blank and finish… scary?? At least to me… I keep asking myself… isn’t that unfair if this is really the case… living a whole life to achieve total doom… people keep saying life to the fullest since you won’t know what’s ahead… how to live fullest when you don’t know what’s ahead… Being a nice and good guy the whole life and turn out to be in vain as there isn’t karma which will bring forward to your next life… same for bad guys…

To be frank, these thought has been bothering me since young… when I was a kids, I will cry in bed asking my mum why must we die and my mum will be so lost. Even when at times my dad will explain to me… it still doesn’t convince me. If there really life after death and the final destination of this cycle will be enlightenment and becoming a god or Buddha. Do we really want it? Is that really good? No wars, no quarrels, no emotional… everyone being enlightened will surpass emotion and fully concentrate on just teaching of good… no sex no game no nothing…

Really confusing… everything that is coming into my mind… memories will not stay with you after death… starting a new life in a new body… but isn’t that totally different… Just like inserting others brain into our body… still looks the same but the fact is it totally different person… another example will be your computer hard disk spoilt beyond repairs… by changing a new hard disk installing new programs doesn’t not mean it the same as before… the old 1 is still scrap and destroyed…

Funny thoughts huh?? Some times these thoughts actually confuse me till the extend that I also not sure what I want from the conversation anymore… Guess this is the greatest fear within…

24th FEB 2009 Thoughts from within... memories lane..

Slacking 1 whole day in office again…Bore with nothing to do, so watch 2 meaningful movies. “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” “10 promises to my dog”. Nice but draggy especially “TCOBB”. like the part where brad pitt describe how things can be different if everything take place earlier or later just by a few sec or few min… every event play a part for something that happened. Rate it 3.3/5.

As for “10PTMD”, it’s about a little gal who lost her mum due to illness and company by her dog and dad through her growing up and the 10 promises set by her mum to her dog... a heart warming show I will say… 3/5.

Anyway…recently really quite bore… till the extend I am actually reading my own blog right from the beginning all the way till the most recent post... Have to say, it’s really refreshing when you read your own stuffs… bringing up memories that hidden deep within… the changes that took place over the years… quite amaze by myself that after almost 6years..I am still updating this blog… think next time must print all these entries out and keep as a dairy... lolx.

Set aside the jokes… time do really flies… almost 6 years of changes… a lot of good and bad things came along the years… One of the biggest changes shall be my languages… English dialog to be exact… not use to speaks in English in the past until I start meeting up the Pri school people… took quite awhile to actually adjust myself. Also credit to Sweet Jun for correcting me all these years… don’t be mistaken… she’s not fussy… I requested for her coaching… o.O Anyway, the 3 happiest things that happened these few years…

1) 21st ague 2005 4.25am – Our love story started… until now everything that had happened were like the previous day and night still fresh in my mind… *blush*
2) Grandma recovered from her illness… Till now I still believe it was a miracle as even the doctor said she won’t pull through
3) Getting my car… a Very big decision to make.

Of course… when there is something to be happy about. There will surely be some misfortunate event too. Till now… the greatest loss will still be the death of grandpa during my army time. I held his hand till his last breathe, not sure if that was considered lucky… everyone was there and the sadness in the eye of all… for the 1st time someone really so close actually passed away… regretted why I only talked to grandma most of the time for the past 20+years and so little words with grandpa… but like I said.. he will always be remember.

Read about those younger days or shall I say the time before most of us went to army… those endless night chat by playground/ s11 or just with ww or wz travel around eating… talking about how things will change after a few year and can never be the same again… cherish all the time that we can have while we are still students… now looking back.. quite grateful that I actually jotted all these stuff down… and so glad that after 5-6years writing that down… we still meeting up weekly.. not as often as before due to work and gf commitment… guess this will stick on and continue for another 10years or so…

Have a lot of thoughts after reading…. Seeing how much we have progress.. improve… the promises we made and whether we actually still keeping it… even if it’s something bad… learn from it and grow…

Wondering why I writing all these…?? Actually all these thoughts came to me after talking with sweet Jun for awhile regarding reading my own blog… had a good time laughing and refreshing the images from the past… really grateful that after so many years… most of the people that are important to me are still in my life… *Cherish*