Sunday, August 14, 2005

13-14 aug 2005 2 days of my life..a mixture of feeling

wun update anything about my daily life as well this week... will only be talking about the 2 dates i stated... why..?? dun aks me why.. i always do stuffs without thinking much..juz always follow where my heart lead me to..

i dunno when she already start to stand a place in my heart.. i dunno when did i start to mind so much about her.. i dunno when did i start to mind so much how she feel..mind how she think of me..mind her up and down in mood...every single little stuff.. but i definitely noe she has already taken a big piece of my heart out from me..

i am lying if i say i feel nothing even if she choose the ans N. i am lying when i was telling her nothing will change between me and her even if the out come is N. I juz trying to put on a brave front to cover my worries.. to let her have a peace at mind instead of stressing out like me too...i wun say i am prefect.. if i am.. i wun be writing all these down here now....

confusion is what taken over me.. was i right to say the *1week* ? no wonder pple always said... <<世界上最痛苦和不安的并不是拥有或失去,而是等待的过程>> the feeling of waiting indeed is horrible..or at least to me.

nothing will change..that`s what promised.. althought i noe it`s hard to fulfil..but words out will not be taken back.. juz like smoking.. i dunno how i am going to do it.. but since i promised.. i will keep my promise..

1 week.. 7days.. haha.. some how.. it seem like 7yrs... or even juz 7sec... eager to noe..yet afraid at the same time...举棋不定....actually.. to be frank.. this long week.. saying to let her think tru how she really feel...but actually... it`s more like giving myself a chance to think tru..about stuff that happened these few mths..and learn to be patient for once instead of urging..

i have alot to say...but don't really noe how to express... mushy words are what people advice.. but i believe u will noe i dun use them.. cos it`s not how i show my care and concern... action always speak louder than words...

don't think pple out there really noe how i feel at the moment...some might even get confuse with what i am even typing now... my switching in mood and stuff.. nv expected the impact of her to be this great..

was thinking of getting m/c juz now to stay at home..but.. none open..maybe it`s juz fate..i have to accpet this week instead of trying to change the time..

enough of saying..it`s all up to waiting.. and all i can do is wait... although peeps out there told me i am 笨.. about the "slient week" and shall ignore and treat it nothing happen and take back my words and continue contacting with her till my book out..and ask for ans.. (i also feel so actually) but well.. i did my part and she need her time.. juz have to leave it to fate now though i alway say fate is in our hand..but definitely not this time... as it `s take 2 hands to clap.. what`s ur will be ur... and what`s not will nv be... thanx pple anyway..

i noe u definitely will be reading.. maybe it`s juz a hobby to u now or what i don't know..what i wanna say were said... take ur time and think...

p.s: those who can't understand.. dun try ur luck asking me..pls thanx

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