cherish the moment

It is not easy to manage work and family matters. Had a discussion with the doc and his team this morning before heading to work. Informed my boss in newzeland I might be late but will be joining the meeting due to the discussion. When I join into team.. my boss and colleague asked me how was my mum, and without thinking I answered back that she was reaching her last stage. Trust me.. the immediate awkwardness for a good 3 sec until I broke the silence and asked them not to worry and started talking about other stuff.

Anyway work was fine but i couldnt really fully commit now... too many things in my mind regarding to what the doc mentioned about when we can or rather when is the right time we can bring my mum back home. We had another palliative care doc spoke to us in the evening. I appreciated the concern Dr Koh had regarding our thoughts on when to bring my mum home, every family is different but most important is everyone find that comfort that they need.

Managed to control my emotion pretty well today and step up during the 2 discussion with both doctors. At this stage, nothing is more important than my well being or mum and dad.. nothing else..

While I was alone in the high dependency ward with mum.. she casually made a remark " 人生就这么过完了‘’ It really hit me hard, it was so true.... we live our whole life not knowing when it will end ome day..Maybe tonight maybe 20 30 years.

One thing for sure. We live each day being responsible to ourselves. Mum is puting up a strong fight, she does her workout for legs and hands and tried to eat as much as she can to gain energy.. doing all these because she believe it will make the ending part less pain.

I am not too whats the next move. But I only knowing clock is counting and we need to stay focus and spend more time with her